Blessed

It’s been a few weeks since I have posted anything. Guess I should start with some major news…I got the RA job!!! I am so excited to be an RA next year! It was kinda funny how it all worked out. I had been praying so hard to find out f I had the job or not and then I found out that I had it! I was so excited! I still am.

Then I had a scare…due to a lot of financial aid issues, I was afraid I was not going to be able to come back to Harding in the fall. I was devastated. I was 90% sure I was no coming back. I was so sad and upset and had a million other emotions running through me. It started on a Wednesday when I went to take a loan out to cover the cost of the rest of the semester. I didn’t get the loan and I had a melt down. So then, on the following Monday, my mom called me and said when she tried to cosign the loan, she didn’t get it. Well, then Dad tried to cosign the loan, and on Wednesday he told me he didn’t get it. I was fine…and then I called my Mom and when I saw my best friends Loryn and LeAndra at 11:57 prayer, I lost it and started to cry. I am pretty sure anyone who was walking through the heritage saw me crying but several of the people there for prayer definitely saw me crying. Payton came over to see what was wrong, and he gave me a hug, and I couldn’t handle it…I just kept crying. I finally stopped in time for the group prayer and I was “okay” (not really, but I am good at pretending to be okay haha). After we had small group prayer, I sat down to study for my two tests that I had (another reason I was crying, I was super stressed). I just wanted to be left alone and I wanted to be angry at God because I prayed that if He wanted me at Harding, then He would let me get the RA job…and since I got the RA job I thought he wanted me at HU but now that I couldn’t get any sort of financial aid, I wasn’t supposed to be at HU? I thought God was just teasing me and being mean to me. How was that fair? It wasn’t. And I was angry. And I was sad. And I was hurt. And I didn’t want to leave HU….Harding is home for me…and I don’t want to leave!

So, I was studying and pouting and just being miserable…not by choice, but because I was just sooo..I don’t know…just hurting so bad. Payton then came over and took my books out of my hands and then he sat down on my lap and held me. I sat there with tears running down my face (Payton probably didn’t know it at the time, he may not even know now that I was crying). He just held me…and he let me cry…and we didn’t say anything for a while. Yes, there were awkward looks coming from people who were walking by, but that didn’t matter. One little act of kindness is all it took. I never did tell Payton why I was crying (not immediately anyways).

Later that week, I saw my friend Joseph, who is also a beau for the club I’m in. He asked how things were going and I told him not well, but oh well, it was whatever. I talked to Joseph and Payton, and then to Joseph again…and finally told them both what was going on. Well, Joseph talked to some people he knows about my situation, and he was such a HUGE blessing to me. I was feeling soo alone in all that I was going through and I felt like I had no one to talk to about it, but Joseph was calling me, texting me, and asking me in person how things were going. He was truly being there for me and when I did start to get down again, Joseph would remind me that my Father in heaven has it all in control. I started to pray again for something to happen (I had previously not been praying about it anymore) and then, when at 11:57 prayer, I finally started telling more and more people. I gave up hope when nothing happened, and I proceeded to be convinced I was not coming back to Harding. However, God proved me wrong because on Monday last week I found out I am able to still come back to Harding! Things are working out and I get to come back! I am sooo excited about this. I can’t wait to come back

So then, I was thinking, how many times have I prayed for something, and when I don’t get it immediately, I give up hope…I pray for those who are sick to be healed and when they aren’t feeling better the next day, I am frustrated by it. I pray for this or that and when this or that does not happen, I pout. I finally realized that just because God doesn’t say “yes” right away, doesn’t mean that He didn’t hear my prayer or listen to me…it just means that it’s either a) not His will, or b) the answer is “wait”. I guess that is where being patient comes into play…Which is definitely something I have to work on…so my challenge to myself, and all of you, is to be patient and let things work out in God’s time!

Jesus loves me

It’s currently 1:52 AM. Why am I still awake? It could be because of taking an unintentional three-hour nap tonight when I was supposed to be studying. It could be because I live in a freshman dorm here and it tends to be loud sometimes. It could be I just can’t sleep. What ever the reason, I am indeed still awake and have some things to say about the events of this week.

This week started out normal…well kinda. I had a crazy weekend that ended with me changing my major to speech pathology. For those of you who do know me, you may be shocked by this. I am still kinda shocked by it too. However, I feel as if God is calling me to do something other than teach, even though I come from a family of teachers. Don’t get me wrong, I love little kids and working at Carpenter’s Kids. Because of working at Carpenter’s Kids, I changed my major. I met a little boy who changed my life completely! He is the sweetest kid ever, but has a speech impediment of some type and so he uses “baby sign”. I LOVE working with him, even on days where it is a challenge (because he is three and those days occur very often). It was through working with this little boy, along with talking to friends who are speech path majors, and doing some investigation of my own, that I realized I want to change my major. I talked to members of my family, and while my mom was supportive, along with my dad, I feel as if some people in my family do not support my decision. They want me to become the next teacher and follow in their footsteps. I know that ever since I was little I was “supposed” to teach, but it’s not really a dream of mine. My dream is to impact people’s lives, and not just the lives of 5 year olds. Let’s face it, you can’t really impact the life of a 5-year-old that much as a teacher because they do not understand much of anything. Honestly, my elementary teachers didn’t impact my life as much as Miss Jenny. She was my speech therapist. I still remember her and how much I enjoyed speech. I want to be a “Miss Jenny” for someone, whether it be an infant or an elderly stroke victim. When I talked to one of the people in my family, I felt as if this person was pretty much telling me I am a disappointment to the family, which really broke my heart. It was hard to hear them ask “Well, why would you EVER want to do that?” in a tone that was not very pleasant. It was hard to hear the disappointment in their voice. However, I do love this person and she is family. It hurt a lot to hear that she wasn’t supporting me, but in a way I expected it. I am confident that I made the right decision, and while I may second guess it at times, I know that this is what God wants me to do and that is all that matters…after all, Jeremiah 29:11, right? This all went down over the weekend, and into Monday.

 

Another event that happened this week was my interview with my dorm mom to be an RA here in Sears. I didn’t get it. At first, I was sooo upset. I took it a lot harder than I thought I would, but I am fine now. I was having kind of rough day, it was Tuesdays, and I was just trying to get the day to be over with! So hearing that I didn’t get RA was the last straw, I thought, until I was cleaning the bathroom (something I do when I’m upset or have something on my mind), and then Amazing Grace came on (I was listening to music at the same time). I lost it! For those who don’t know, we sang this song at my Papaw’s funeral over the summer and lately when I hear/sing it, I get a little emotional. Probably because it’s coming up on 7 months since he passed. I don’t know. Anyways, I am fine now. I just needed to “get over it” I guess. I had another interview today for being an RA in a different dorm, and I am really hopeful that I get it. I had/have a wonderful RA right now and I can honestly say that I would have left Harding had it not been for her. She really helped me out a ton during freshman year and continues to be a wonderful friend and role model for me. She’s pretty much amazing and has helped me through so much without even knowing it…especially at night when we’re getting around for bed and have a random “bathroom chat” haha! I am always so encouraged by her and I want to be that person for someone. I know that I could do that without being an RA, but I also want to the “full Harding experience” I guess you could say…I want to be an RA sooo bad! I can only hope, pray, and wait to hear good news from this interview (I should know something next week hopefully, so please pray about it).

 

Now, Wednesday was a fun day. It started out with me waking up and the little devil on my shoulder dropped kick the angel on my other shoulder. Let me tell you that the red-head in me was coming out that day! For those who don’t know, red heads are famous for being hot-headed, or having a bad temper. Ohhh man was I grouchy that day! I feel bad now because I was so grouchy and I took it out on some of my friends and didn’t mean to. Thankfully, I have talked to my friends I took the grouchiness out on, and they all said “Don’t worry about it…we all have our days” and they were very quick to forgive me. They’re wonderful people, I must say. Anyways, I finally took about an hour nap on Wednesday night before I went to devo, and when I woke up I almost didn’t go to devo because I was still a little grouchy. I went, and it was great. I even had an unexpected talk with my dear friend Becca. Yes, I did get a little emotional which is not like me, but oh well, haha. It’s been a crazy week, and so that’s my excuse, even if it’s not a good one. So I went to another devo that I usually go to on Wednesday nights, and my friend LeAndra was there and we talked after the devo. I told her about how I had gotten emotional at the previous devo and she then asked for my phone. We went back to my room and we got it and she was playing with it, or so I thought (I’ll talk about that here in a minute). She then hung out with me for a little longer, and we just talked about what all was going on, not only with me but also with friends. It’s been a rough year for so many people here and my heart goes out to all those who have such heavy burdens!

So, that brings me to Thursday (today). I get a text from a friend about 11:57 prayer while I was at work. I couldn’t make it because of being at work, and told my friend that, and they said it was okay, and asked what time I was off, so I told them 12:45 at the latest. Then I had another text after that asking what I was doing and so I told them I was in my room and then I saw LeAndra and she told me this friend, Payton, was looking for me…which I was like “ooook….why?” and she gave me that look of “secrety secredom”. I knew something was up, and started playing with my phone (which is being jank right now, btw). Of course it’s then that I see she texted Payton telling him I have been having a rough week and asked if he could come meet her and I and pray (that’s what I meant by I thought she was playing with my phone). About an hour later, I was rushing back to my room to find out what time my interview was today (I had written it down but couldn’t remember when it was so I had to go and look). Who was in the lobby waiting on me when I got there? None other by Payton and his room-mate Austin. I sat down and was talking to them for a few minutes and Payton told me I was the only one who got the text about 11:57 prayer. Go figure…haha. LeAndra came back to the dorm and then we prayed about some stuff that’s been going on, and I honestly could have just cried. Not because I was upset, but because this one action, while small in some aspects, really made my day so much better. I left the lobby of sears having such a more optimistic outlook about the rest of the day. It was wonderful. I wish I could have talked about all that’s going on with the people who were there, but I was soo taken back and surprised and I don’t know..I wasn’t expecting it. It was so uplifting and encouraging, and then I got a text message from Payton with an encouraging verse!!! Just proof that the smallest actions have the biggest impact on people’s lives.

Now on a much more serious note. During chapel today there were some comments made apparently. I am watching what was said on youtube right now, and so far I can’t find anything offensive about what was said. For those who do not know, some current and previous students made a website about their experience about being homosexual here at Harding. My heart does go out to these students. I can not imagine what they are going through right now. However, I do believe that the way they handeled the situation was not appropriate. I also do not think that some of the things that were said were appropriate (I have a smart phone and was able to read some of the comments made). What makes me really frustrated, however, is the fact that people all around the world are now talking trash about me. They may not be talking about me personally, but they are saying awful things about Harding and the students here! I did not realize how big this was until I ran a google news search. Harding is now being compared to the Westboro Baptist church!!! I ask that all of you please pray about this and pray for Harding! Pray for Dr. Burks and the administration, but also pray for the students here! Dr. Burks mentioned bullying during his statement, so please pray for us students to be more loving of each other. For those who want my opinion/stance: here is all I will say, God loves us ALL. He sent his Son to die for EVERYONE, not just those who have it all together. I don’t have it all figured out, and have my life in order, but I do know that God still loves me even though I do have days where I am sometimes grouchy or frustrated or doubt Him and His plan for me, or whatever. I think we all tend to get stuck in a phase where we think one sin is greater than another, but that is not what the Bible says. The Bible makes it clear that no sin is greater than another…a sin is a sin is a sin! All people are equal in God’s eyes, and all sin is equal in God’s eyes. I wish that we could remember that as people we need to hate the sin, but LOVE the sinner.

I leave you with this: Thank you for taking the time to read this entry, I know it was long. Also, please do not judge Harding based on what is going on…it’s such a wonderful place here. I have honestly met some of my best friends here and I can’t imagine being any where else!

Hope you all have a wonderful day!

 

Modern Day Ethics

What would you do if…? Right now on ABC, there is a show called what would you do? It just started, and the first thing was what would people do if they were approached by someone at a gas station who needed more gas. 60 % of people helped out, and one man who drives 30 miles both ways to get to and from work bought a woman gas. Then, this man who is a foreigner, was asked to try to get gas from other people. Not much, just a few dollars. Most of the men helped this man, but the women didn’t help. This man thought nothing of helping a woman in the pouring rain. Why wouldn’t the women help? So what would you do? Would you help out a complete stranger if they needed a few dollars to get home to their family or where else they were going?

Next, what would you do if the person asking you was homeless? If you were at a store and a homeless man was sitting outside, would you offer to buy the person something to eat? Or, if you walked into a fast food restraunt, and a woman with a few kids came in and you over heard her talking to the manager trying to feed her kids, what would you do? Would you offer to help the woman out? Would you help her feed her kids? I’ve never had a customer come in where I work (McDonald’s) and ask for a free hand out, but I have witnessed it before. I was on a mission trip and this woman came in to a McDonald’s we had stopped at on the way down to Alabama. The lady who was standing right there bought the woman and her kids meals to help them out. This woman was so grateful she started to cry!

So let’s change it up a little bit…if you saw a homeless man on the street, and I am talking about the typical homeless man…you know the one, with the facial hair, dirty clothes and face, smells really bad, just sitting and not doing anything…would you help him out somehow? If someone was standing on a street corner with a sign that said “Out of work, no money…anything will help,” would you help them out?

I am sometimes torn when it comes to helping others out. I never know if they really need it, or if it’s just a scam. It’s sad that so many people out there pretend to be homeless or out of money, just to get more money or a free meal. Although I am sometimes torn, the real question is, would Jesus help a beggar? Would Jesus just buy someone a meal off a dollar menu, or would He buy them an Angus Delux value meal (a price-y meal from McDonald’s)?

I believe Jesus would help out anyone who needed it. He helped the blind, lepers, the adulters, etc. Jesus showed love and compassion on everyone he met. Sure, he got mad when the temple was being misused. Jesus associated with the people no one else wanted to. The Bible tells us we need to imitate Christ. So what do we do when confronted with all the situations above? Do we walk on and pretend we can’t help, or do we help out no matter what the cost?

What would you do?

In Christ Alone

July 10, 2010. I will forever remember this day, and where I was at. I was at church camp. Jessie had just gotten baptized. The theme at camp was “In Christ Alone” (hence the title of this post). I was sitting on a bench at fire circle and tearing up for several reasons. Jessie had just gotten baptized, it was the last day of camp, and grandpa wasn’t doing well. We were singing songs, and I forget which song it was but I remember a great man named David started it, and then my eyes started tearing up even more. When we started singing the new version of “Kumbya” and Caitlin sat down by me, I lost it. She asked if I was okay and all I could do was shake my head no and run off. Why wasn’t I okay?

Earlier in the morning, after not sleeping well for a week, I had been notified by my mom that my grandpa was in really bad shape. He had been in ICU for several weeks and then moved to a nursing home. July 3-July9 his health decreased and he was getting worse. Grandpa hadn’t been moved to the hospital though. Mom called me to tell me Granny didn’t think he was going to make it another day. I knew it was bad, but when mom said he couldn’t move his legs and his body was hurting, I knew it was worse than what I wanted to think it was. I didn’t get it, and I still don’t. He had walked 5 feet earlier that week with the help of a walker! How had my grandpa’s health deteriorated so quickly? So when Caitlin asked me if I was okay, I told her no, and ran off, I knew my Grandpa was gone. There was just a feeling that I had…like he was gone and I wasn’t going to be able to see him again. Caitlin called her dad (a good family friend) and told him my Grandpa wasn’t doing well (I hadn’t officially been called to say he was gone so I didn’t know for sure, it was just a feeling I had). Caitlin and I went back to fire circle once I had calmed down enough to not fall apart again. After saying goodbye to everyone up at camp, we took off for her house. Once there, we decided to take naps. I had this weird, peaceful, feeling that I don’t know how to explain, but once it took over I started to doze off. I never really fell asleep, but woke up when my mom called me. She was at the emergency room, having just arrived from Indiana, and she told me my grandpa had passed away. I knew when she started talking, before she told me, that he was gone. Mom told me she got there and he was already gone, so even though I can’t prove it, I have my theory that when I lost it at fire circle that he was already gone. I was doing so well at holding it together, until fire circle.

Annyways…the funeral was yesterday. It was beautiful. I cried practically the whole time. My grandpa was a great man. He loved his family, friends, work, but more importantly he loved God. The thing I am always going to remember about my Papaw (as all of us at one point called him) was his love of God and the church. Grandpa was the type of man who loved everyone, no matter what their sins were. He forgave everyone too. Mom told me that my Grandpa said “I’m tired of fighting…I’m ready to go Home”. Grandpa is at home now, and he can walk around without an oxygen tank. He can breathe again. He doesn’t have to worry about making sure he has oxygen with him everywhere he goes.

We knew my grandpa’s death was coming, but no one was prepared for it. He was 79 years old when he went home. The words of a Kenny Chesney song describe my grandpa well…they are posted below. The song is “Grandpa Told Me So” and it’s beautiful!

“He said, life is made for you to live,
The best love is the love that you give.
There`ll be times when you wanna hold on but you gotta let go.
And I live by those words, cause Grandpa told me so.

I promised him I wouldn`t cry when it was his time to leave.
That`s the only promise I made him I couldn`t keep.
He smiled from his bed and said we`ll meet again,
somewhere down the road.
And I believe, cause Grandpa told me so. “

R.I.P. PAPAW!

Would You Like Fries With That?

Well, I’ve just started working for the summer. Mom and I got jobs at the McDonalds that is right up the road from us. Working has been fun. I started on Tuesday and I think I am getting the hang of working the front line. I actually just got off work. I wasn’t supposed to get off until 11, but the manager told me I could go since I had swept and mopped the lobby. There is a lot more to working at McDonalds than what I thought there would be, but yet it isn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I was worried that I would not be able to figure anything out. So far I have been able to figure the register out…which is pretty hard. Today was a good day at work, but since it’s my second 8 hour day, my feet kill!!! The costumers were great today. They were all polite and I don’t think I made any mistakes on the orders. I forgot to give one guy his change, but he reminded me and laughed about it. Other than that, I don’t think I messed up much. If I did, the costumers didn’t complain, which is always good. The nice part about working front line is I get to see some cute children. Most of them are shy but well behaved. I am so tired. I’ve been sleeping pretty well at night now that I’ve been working so much. It’s not like it’s too much, but it is enough to leave me sleeping well. I feel weird though. My bed at home feels awkward to sleep in…I don’t really know how to explain it. The first week was bad. I couldn’t sleep at all. The bed didn’t feel like my bed. But now I am sleeping well.

That is it for tonight..just a pointless blog to say that I am working and doing well! God is so great for giving me this job!!!

Lessons Learned in College

The week of finals has arrived! Every where you look on Harding’s campus, people are studying like crazy for their finals. If not studying, students are trying to hang out with their friends before everyone leaves, or they are packing up their room to leave. This week has been awesome, for me. I have been hanging out with some friends (Loryn and LeAndra) since the weekend and it’s been wonderful. Thick and thin, these girls have been amazing!

The first thing I’ve learned relates to these two girls because they have taught me how great it is to laugh. I have laughed more this week with these two girls than I have the whole semester! Okay, a little bit of an exageration, but I have laughed a lot this week. I have also learned to relax and just let go! It’s okay to live a little and go crazy! Have fun, live a little, do something you thought you would never do!

I also learned how to do laundry. Not only how to do laundry, but why it is important to check every article of clothing (including purses) before putting them in the washer/dryer. Today, while doing my laundry, I had a purse that needed washed, so I decided to wash it with my one load of clothes. I got my clothes out of the washer after 28 minutes, and transferred them to the dryer. When I came back 20 minutes later, on several articles of clothing, I found marks of yellow, pink, green, and purple. After looking, I discovered the marks were from high lighters that were left in my purse. Lesson learned? Check EVERYTHING! Another lesson learned, hair spray helps get high lighter stains out of clothing.

I’ve also learned about myself. It is hard being out in the real world, or as much of the real world one can experience while at HU, and being away from one’s parents. This was especially true for myself. I had a hard time leaving my mom. She’s my mommy and has been there my whole life. After 18 years, we were going to be apart and I would have no family with me. It was hard to leave my mom, but I was able to grow up a little more. I learned how to do laundry on my own, iron my laundry, study (which is huge since I never studied in high school), and how to deal with issues.

I also learned a lot about God through songs. I guess the only way to talk about what I learned would be to put the lyrics up from the songs. First “Wonderful, merciful, Savior. Precious redeemer and friend. Who would have thought that a lamb could, rescue the souls of men? Oh you rescue the souls of men” This song is beautiful! One of my favorites! Another song is “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and the waves they will not over come you. Do not fear! For I have redeemed you. I have called you by name. You are Mine! For I am the Lord your God. The Holy one of Israel. Your saviour. I am the Lord (Do not fear)” I love this song. It comes from a passage in Isaiah. These two songs are beautiful and can be found on youtube. Look them up and close your eyes and just listen to them a few times. First, listen as if God is singing these songs to you. Then listen as you are singing them to God. Like, in the second song, “When I pass through the waters, You will be with me. And the waves they will not over come me. I will not fear because you have redeemed me. You have called me by name and I am yours. You are the Lord my God. The Holy one of Israel. My saviour. You are the Lord (I won’t fear).” It’s really amazing and makes for a great prayer of praise to God.

Above all, I have learned that having faith in God is the only thing that will help one survive college (even if it is a christian college, the first year is sooo hard if you don’t have faith). Trust God, lean on Him, and let Him show you His ways!

Power of Prayer

Sitting here on my bed, I realized I had not posted a new blog in a long time. When I read my last blog, I realized it has been over a month since I last blogged! So much has happened. The first weekend in April, I performed in Spring Sing. I was so tired of Spring Sing and when our first performance came, I was excited. Something magical happened. I wasn’t tired of SS anymore. I was ready for the performances. A funny thing happens when one does spring sing. You meet people who are going to stick with you for the rest of your life. I met some of my best friends through SS and I am so thankful that God brought each of the SS members into my life. Without such wonderful friends, I would not have made it through this semester.

This semester has been rough. A friend committed suicide, another friend’s dad passed away, and just this past weekend one of my friends was in a car accident and passed away. It’s been hard. Plus, unlike a lot of colleges and universities, HU has a long Spring Semester with only one break (a week for Spring Break). Last semester I had Fall Break, Thanksgiving Break, and then Christmas Break. Having so many deaths and not being able to go home was hard. I believe God saw me through this time though. I came to Harding praying for my faith to be strengthend. I am sure that God has a plan for me thorugh all the bad things that have occured during this semester. Between being stressed, friend drama, just plain drama, and then Spring Sing…I was being tested in many different ways. I was/am being tested in many different areas. I have learned to depend on God more often. I have learned to actually rely on Him because sometimes friends won’t be there (no offense to my friends…I love you all but there were times you were not here b/c you went home or had other plans and that is fine with me. I know you all have lives. ) I have learned to deal with drama in a more mature way. Instead of getting mad and trash talking the person who I am upset with, I have learned that when someone is acting upset, they may not be upset with me.

This semester I also learned the power of prayer. My mom’s job has been very unstable. Every time her contract was coming to a close, there were rumors that it was going to be extended so I would start praying. So far, everytime I’ve prayed for her job contract to be extended it has been. Then, the other day a guy in my EDFD class asked for prayers on behalf of his friend who’s uncle needed a liver and there was one other guy who also needed a liver. Both men had the same problem and it was really difficult to tell who would get the liver. We prayed about the situation and right when the prayer was over with, the guy got a text message from his friend saying her uncle go the liver. God has also answered many other prayers. I prayed for my faith to be tested, and it has been. The power of prayer was reaffirmed last night when I went to see George W. Bush, our former president. I have never heard a funnier speaker in my short life. This man talked about his time as president and what it was like on 9/11. Former President Bush also discussed how we all have rough days, bad days, and good days. No matter what type of day he was having, he also had a joyous day because of the prayers of millions of Americans. When a man who held such a prestigous position tells about how prayer helped him through our nation’s hardest days, I realized that prayer is for everyone. God answers prayers from the poor, the rich, the lowly, the unloved, the loved, children, adults, the ederly, and everyone else. We are all God’s children. He loves us all so much and I am rediscovering this more and more each day. I can’t wait to learn everything else God has in store for me! I want to take every opportunity I can to learn more about God now. I pray that you all want to learn more about God and the power of prayer!

Rain

March 21

It was a rainy day today. I woke up and put on my cute high heels and dress, only to discover after walking outside that it was raining. The rain was one of those cold rains and it would have been the perfect napping weather. I got to stay inside for most of the day though, so that was nice. We had a costume “party” and worked on our spring sing costumes all day today. LeAndra and I took some of the costumes back to her room where we’ll finish them up through out the week. I love that girl! LeAndra let me sleep in her room last night and it was so much fun. We watched part of Princess and the Frog, and then fell asleep before it was even half way over. Today we tried watching it again, but ended up sleeping. It was nice to sleep though. I definitely needed some rest. Spring sing practices this weekend were intense. We had 6 hours on Saturday and then we had costumes and props stuff last night and today. Crazy? Yes. Fun? Sometimes. It’ll be worth it. All this hard work will pay off!

I feel as if I should clarify something(s). This past week on facebook my status’s were not the happiest. Monday started off really badly, continued to get worse, and the week never really got any better. The one day I did think was going to be good ended bad. It wasn’t a fun week, to say the least. I’d rather not go into much detail on here, seeing as so many people could see it. ANYWAYS: I am thinking this week is going to be better. It’s starting off better so far. I got to hang out with LeAndra and I’ll be hanging out with her tomorrow to finish costumes. Hopefully we can get it all done, but I’m sure we’ll have fun even if we don’t.

I was really stressing out Friday. I had a million and one things to do over the week (plus s.s. practice) and I was not sure how I was going to get everything done. God smiled on me though, because I checked my planner and all my binders to check to see what homework I had, and it turns out after finding sources for an essay that I have to write, all I had to do is read my Bible. I should have also worked on my math problems, but I have decided that I can work on them after s.s practice tomorrow night since we’ll be done early in the evening. I think I will be able to finish all my work though! I finished all my homework that’s due tomorrow so I am really excited. I am also really tired and starting to make a lot of silly spelling/grammer errors so I better get off here. I just didn’t want to end this entry without saying how God has blessed me this past week even though it wasn’t that great of a week! I think God was showing me how little things (such as not having as much to do as originally thought) can bring joy to a person.

That’s all folks! Goodnight!

Spring Break

Spring break! A week to do whatever I want, get up whenever I want, and take a nap whenever I want! It has been so much fun. In a way I am glad to see it go, but yet I’m also saddened that it’s time to return to Searcy. This break started off kinda crazy. My mom came down to Searcy to get a friend and I. We dropped my friend off in Cincinnati Ohio and then started to Indiana. We didn’t get home until 4 AM!! I was so tired. Then, because we were using my Aunt’s car, we got up after only sleeping for an hour and picked up my Aunt at 6 to take her to work. After getting some breakfast at Denny’s, my mom and I headed home to get some more sleep. We slept for about 2 hours and then got up when I saw my cousin with her kids. I got up, got dressed, and then went to see my new baby cousin Sammy. What an adorable baby boy!!! He was a little fussy, but he is so cute! And really small. I also got to see my little second cousin Lauren. This little girl has the curliest, reddest hair I’ve ever seen. It’s so beautiful. She’s so beautiful! And very fun to be around. After holding the baby and seeing my cousin, mom and I went to a car dealership out here and she bought a car. My mom is now the owner of a red Kia Rio!! I love the car. Not because it’s anything extravagant or nice, but because it’s our car! It’s not a junk car by any means, but it is a few years old.

Then mom and I went to the mall and I got my phone fixed. Well, actually, I got a new phone. It actually works! Hopefully it’ll keep working and won’t break like my old one did.

The rest of break was pretty much spent doing laundry, cleaning, painting, and watching movies with mom. We watched the Time Traveler’s Wife and Sorority Row. Neither was as good as I thought it would be. I also watched Coraline, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, G Force, and a few others. Coraline was okay, but not the greatest. I really want to see Remember Me. Hopefullywill get the chance to see it soon.

The end of break has arrived and now I’m getting ready to go to Ohio! I am so excited about going to Ohio!! I get to see my grandparents and friends! I can’t wait!!! I probably won’t do much with my grandparents, just play marbles (the best game ever) but I am excited to see them. I’m also ready to go back to Harding.

When I get back to Harding, I’ll have to unpack and all that. I’ll also finish up what little homework I have left and get ready for classes on Monday. I’ll have a lot of Spring Sing practices and then I’ll have work also. I have missed the kids from work. They are so sweet and I can’t wait to see them again! That’s what the rest of this semester brings: work, classes, and spring sing!! It’s going to be crazy, but it’s going to be so much fun!

Harding semester #2

Well, this semester is almost done (scary to think about!!!) and I’m not quite sure how I feel about it. So far, nothing great has happend this semester like it did last semester. Last semester got off to a rough start. I had some horrible roommate issues, but thanks to all my friends I made, I got through those and now have an amazing roommate! My RA helped out a lot. While all my roommate issues were going on, she reached out to me and asked me to go to a mixer for XKP. I am so glad I did. I met a bunch of awesome people and remember thinking to myself “Wow! These girls and beaux are so awesome…I really want to get to know all of them more.” I joined XKP and things were awesome! They still are. I love all the girls and beaux so much!

I survived my first semester here at HU and after Christmas break, I came back just as excited about my second semester as I had been about the first. I was so ready for the semester to start. Sure, during first semester I wanted to leave HU and never return, but that was due to the situation I was in. Once the situation got better, I was able to fully enjoy HU a lot more.

However, second semester has not gone as planned. I have 5 classes on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I have one class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but I work from 8:15 until 12:45 before heading to class. Working is something that is new. I had a job in high school but I hated it. I love my job! The kids are so sweet, even though most of them are in the “terrible two” stage. Classes keep me busy as I expected they would. I am also doing Spring Sing. It’s a lot of hard work, but it’s totally fun and going to be worth every single hour and drop of sweat spent practicing.

Not too far into the semester, the electric in my room messed up. This happend last semester after Thanksgiving break and I thought the problem had been fixed. Apparently not. My roommate and I are now without a TV. That really made me mad at first. I am over it now, and kind of enjoy not having a TV (except when it comes to movie nights and we have to watch the movie on my lap top…). Anyways, not having a TV has helped me to concentrate on other things, like all the homework I should be doing right now.

After the electricity messed up, things just kept going downhill it seemed. Classes kept getting busier and busier. Life seemed to be just a blur because I’d wake up and have this whole routine. Now, it has become a way of life. I feel as if I am waking up, just to do the same thing everyday. Doing the same thing may seem nice to some, but it’s really not all that great. I wake up shortly before 7, shower, get ready, leave for classes or work depending on the day, and get done at 1:50. Usually I eat lunch at 1:50 and then go back to my room to start in on my homework or whatever needs to be done. I feel as if I spend all my time doing homework and nothing else. If I do anything else, it’s Spring Sing. Occassionally I’ll have a movie night with friends and that is always amazing and fun.

I also feel as if I’m getting “lost” in all the craziness of it all. Somewhere between going to classes all the time, Spring Sing practices, work, and everything else…I feel as if I’m losing an uphill battle. I don’t really know how to explain this feeling. It’s like…I wake up and go through my days and then look at the clock only to ask myself “Wow! Just a little bit ago it was 8, and now it’s 10 PM! Where did my day go?” This is probably due to how busy I am, but I am not sure if that’s it.

I started this semester trying to read my Bible through in a year with HU. I haven’t read what is on the schedule at all this month, and most of last month. I know if I really wanted to, I could get caught up. It’s just hard though because I always remember homework at the last-minute or I get distracted. Now I’m not only losing time for me, but I’m losing time to spend with God. That’s what is so awful and I don’t know what to do about it. I’m trying to pray more than what I have been and I am trying to spend some time with God, but it’s so hard when I have no energy left!

Even over spring break I am going to be busy doing homework. I have books to read for class and studying and all the things that go along with being a college student. I am looking forward to break, however, because I will get to see my mom. This semester that’s all I’ve wanted. I’ve been so homesick and so ready to go back to home shortly after I got down here. It doesn’t help that when I came down here, mom was moving into her new apartment. Now that she’s all settled, I feel bad that I didn’t get to help out at all. I don’t know….this semester just hasn’t been what I thought it would be at all. I feel as if I have no social life and as if God keeps trying to tell me something but I don’t know what. The busy schedule I try to maintain seems to be blocking out God’s voice so much that I get the subtle hints He sends, but I don’t hear the full message. If that makes any sense what so ever.

Anyways…it’s Friday night and instead of going out with friends, I am in my room (again) doing nothing. I’m actually getting ready to start on homework. I know, I have the full weekend to do homework, but I don’t. I have spring sing on Sunday and I would like to have my homework done by tomorrow night so I can enjoy a day of resting (except for at practice) and then be able to go to PM service without feeling bad about not studying or doing homework.

Speaking of studying: don’t you just hate it when you study a list of 20 items and have it memorized, and then get to take the test and draw a blank? Yeah…that’s what happend to me today and it was awful. I failed the test : ( There will be many more though, that’s for sure. So hopefully on the next one I will do better!